Time. It is the spouse of the universe as itself can never be measured precisely. Such as the universe, people particularly the physicist, historians and scientist alike, we will never know when it started and when it will stop. The great discovery of the universe and how it was created can only be measured by time as it will dictate when it all happened. Many have dedicated and juggled their lives in the motive of knowing when and how it all began. But the most important question I would like to raise is that when will it all stop?
As many have quoted by billions around the world “time is gold”. But I want to beg to differ. Time is much more precious than gold as gold can be bought, can be replaced, can be reuse, can be restored but time can not and will never be like that. If there is something more precious than time to be compared to is probably the sun. It may not sound as bold as gold but the Sun really is as similar to Time. Once the sun ran out of fire to spit we will never know what may happen. It may be the doom of all our existence but I hope it’s not.
I’d like to think that I have spent most of my time in a very productive way as I can. In the early stages of my life I think that I have wasted my youth just playing around and was not able to balance it effectively. Though I can truly say that it was such a splendid childhood because I still feel like a child in most days. As a young adult of the generation, I wish I could rewind the clock and go back to my teenage years, particularly my high school days. It is the period that I have spent with most fun but it is also the period where I could have made myself something better than I am today.
I do not want to regret my high school days. Though most people that have heard my story are amazed of how I was able to manage to survive and finish it. I can’t explain it either. Most days are spent with friends, young love and wrecked games. When my classmates are burning their eyebrows for the quarter exams reading book, I party all night burning books and papers, literally. I was really living it in high school. Feeling and acting like an adult was a sensation that was really fascinating for me because I felt like my parents understand teenage hormones and that the police thinks that we are just kids fooling around.
But whenever I reminisce those days, I can’t help but also feel guilty. Guilty for not being wise and good. Most people have done it but was able to balance their life but not me. I was a threading water and only a big rock at the end can stop me. And when I hit, I hit hard. Now do I realize and imagine what my life could have been today if I have done the opposite.
Time will never give me that chance no matter how much I beg for it. But also I think that the wasted time gave me the ample resolution to spend it better today and in the coming years. Most of my time in my current life are spent with activities that I still feel unproductive. Even though my parents think that I am more active than ever because of my biking, gym class, jogging added together with the time I spend working, writing and reading. But those activities are not fulfilling anything that I can be truly proud of. There are a lot of people that I admire most for their exemplary works and altruistic deeds and are still able to give time for things such as family, leisure, friends and religion. At times that I felt being like those people, following their foot steps towards better citizenship status. But just thinking of it already makes me feel frazzled as ever. I am not raised to a life where everything is scheduled as I was raised by its contrary of a spontaneous life. Though I’ve always been punctual since as I was a kid but then being on time and knowing how to schedule everything to spend it wisely are two different attitude. Only now do I experience managing my time with other people’s time. With most of my spent time, I am now looking for a spot where I can add more activities, mostly for altruism, but not exhausting myself to the extent of my limit. As most doctors and psychologist have discovered, rest is one of the key to a happy life.
Being 21 gives you a lot of energy and an avenue to try and experience a lot of things. Comparing myself to the life’s achievement of some youth same as my age, I know that mine is not a bragging story. Many youth out there have done more than any other thirty or forty year old person and they will continue that until their heart stop. I do now realize that if only I have chosen better, had the guidance and the right people to look up to in my younger years, I know I could have been one of those great young leaders. And yet in another side, what I have experience is a reflection of who I have become right now. I have been an irresponsible actress in my story that now made me strive to be the head director of it. I know it’s a long run to the future and the marathon hasn’t started yet. The past should never be repeated if not for the better. The time as I’ve mentioned is not gold. It cannot be replaced nor rewind. The time I have now is limited. Living up to my happiness is nicer compared to living it longer without purpose.